Things I Learn by Watching the News

-Black people are criminals.
-Anyone of Middle Eastern decent is a terrorist.
-White people are slave masters.
-Mexicans are lazy, but they take all our shitty jobs.
-A Playboy Playmate dying is bigger news than say...a war.
-Christians want to ban everything you like.
-Democrats are Communists.
-Republicans like money. A lot.
-Even America hates America.
-White people still can't say anything ignorant and keep their jobs. Other races can, and may get promoted for doing so.
-No one believes apologies, but they are still required no matter what.
-It is OK to editorialize the news as an anchorman.
-It is exciting when people get killed.
-YOU don't matter.