Detroit Lions jokes (The Liedowns)

They still have a team.

haha...that's not really a joke, but it is a joke. Time to scour the web for some great Liedowns jokes. The season and the organization is a joke so might as well just roll with it. They are 2-13 right now and one loss away from the #1 overall pick in the draft.

Q. How do the Detroit Lions count to 10?
A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

Q. What do the Detroit Lions & Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 80,000 people stand up & yell "Jesus Christ" !

Q. How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
A. Put up goal posts

Q. How can you tell when the Detroit Lions are going to run the football?
A. The halfback leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.

Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions &
the Taliban?
A. The Taliban have a running game

Q. Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
A. Ford Field - they never get a touchdown there!

Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a SuperBowl ring?
A. A thief

Q. Why doesn't Flint have a professional football team?
A. Because then Detroit would want one

Q. Why was Marty Mornhinweg upset when the Detroit Lions
playbook was stolen?
A. Because he hadn't finished coloring it.

Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a
dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar

Q. How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Superbowl?
A. Nobody knows and we may never find out!

Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching
the SuperBowl?
A. The Detroit Lions

Q. What do the Detroit Lions and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road

Q. How can you tell when the Detroit Lions are going to run
the football?
A. The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.

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Little David is in the 5th grade. Yesterday morning when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living, all the typical answers came up: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

The teacher noticed that little David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so she asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and do it with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, red faced. "He plays for the Detroit Lions, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
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